Ninety two percent of people who set New Years Resolutions either abandon them completely or are off track by the third week in January.
Fit Mamas, this makes me sad.
I love New Years. I love getting all reflective when looking back over all that’s taken place over the last twelve months. I love getting all dreamy with the possibility of what is to come. However, in years past I also have easily fallen into the sad category of well meaning wishers who have not determined what is needed to see those resolutions come to life. This year will be different, because I am different.
2018 was the most transformational year of my life. It was hard and wonderful all wrapped up in the same divinely timed package. The 2018 version of Lou embraced the heck out of curiosity, change and healing. It was time. After 40 years, I got really, really, REALLY sick and tired of my own crap and the emotional cycles that were obviously perpetual. I was exhausted from putting myself off and realized that NOBODY was coming to save me from myself. In 2018, I hired a life coach and committed to squaring off with myself.
I have become obsessed with unbecoming all of the things that didn’t serve me. It is now my passion to guide and empower women to mindfully create their happiest lives.
THESE ARE MY THREE KEY STEPS TO SUPPORT YOUR GOALS AND TRANSFORMATION IN 2019:
I define radical responsibility as choosing to view everything that is present in your life as something you are either choosing or allowing, consciously OR unconsciously. This is the most empowering stance you could ever take for your life. Period.
This is a mindset that I have adopted and it ensures that I am connected and engaged to what I’m doing, or not doing, and how I’m reacting or avoiding. Owning my shizz is how I’ve also taken charge of healing past traumas. I no longer choose to hold onto wounds that affect my emotional state. As I become aware or triggered, I have a process to heal and release the wound or I reach out for support from my coach. Radical responsibility has empowered me, for the first time ever, to fully show up in my own life. I am present. I am mindful. I am now capable of creating happiness from within because I no longer feel out of control of my own life.
Step 2: Radical Self Love
We talk ourselves out of receiving compliments. We criticize ourselves for being human. We cruelly compare and verbally cut ourselves ALL the time. We wouldn’t dare speak out loud the things we say to ourselves in our minds. Your best friend would slap you upside the head if they heard some of this chatter, right? When we do this, it creates inner separation. We are not our thoughts, but the observer of them. The observer is your highest self, your eternal self, your soul. Your perfect, flawless, connected directly to your Creator, Soul. Every time we deny ourselves the love, grace and support that is our divine right, we inflict unnecessary pain to ourself.
Radical Self Love is stopping all of this. I like to imagine my inner dialogue as if I’m speaking to my own daughter or perhaps my inner child. It’s kind of parental and it’s totally supportive. It’s absolutely laced in love and unconditional acceptance. No more distance, denial or shaming…
welcome yourself home with nothing but love for you, from you. I believe this type of love and support is a game changer when you add it to taking radical responsibility. You have just committed to owning all aspects of your life and loving the heck out of all of it. Yes and YES!
Step 3: Acting As If
This is not your typical fake it till you make it mumbo jumbo. This is how you mindfully design any and all parts of your life.
We do what we are. To do something different will require that who we ARE is different. The only reason we don’t achieve goals is because we have existing beliefs that do not support the change we desire. Real transformation occurs within our subconscious mind where all of our beliefs and identity are stored. These beliefs (or stories) were formed during childhood and are simply the programming that become our personalities (personal realties). Creating new stories OR rewriting old ones is not easy, but simple, possible and totally worth it! We can not out perform our subconscious beliefs but here is a formula I love to work with when framing out new goals. Since tasks alone do not change our identity, placing conscious awareness on who we intend to be is the beginning of the work. With as much detail and clarity as possible answer these questions…Write it down on paper!
Who would I be?
What would I do?
How would I feel?
If I already achieved __________?
This is the powerful reverse blueprint that I have adopted for all of my goals. Here is an example for the goal I have to transform my health this year:
I will be committed, organized, and integral to my goals. I will work out on a consistent basis, eat healthy planned meals, drink water, stretch and rest to support the physical change I desire. I will feel proud, confident, energetic, healthy and vibrant when I achieve the goal of losing 10 pounds, strengthening my body and increasing flexibility.
Do you see how this is so much more clear than just saying I want to lose 10 pounds??
We don’t typically seek out who we will BE when we decide on a goal, it’s the feeling that is the end result. By defining who we will be, what we will do AND how we will feel, you will be tackling your goals from the inside out.
Creating new habits takes time because you are literally rewiring it into your brain and body. Consistency is so vital. Review your goals daily, write them out daily or frequently, set reminders and affirmations on your phone, leave notecards in places you’ll often see and find an accountability partner or group that you can check in with daily or weekly.
I hope these are tools that will support you bringing your goals and dreams to life this year and beyond. May you, very soon, embody the next version of you!
About Lou Harvin
Relocating to St Augustine by way of Alabama in 2012 proved to be the catalyst for change in every single way for this mama. Widowed in 2013, life brutally yanked the rug out from underneath Lou and her three young children. “Not done” was her theme as she bravely took steps to create a new life on her own terms. She opted to stay in Florida and welcome new roots to grow. Those first few years in St Augustine were challenging as everything about life felt foreign. She unexpectedly found love and received a sweet plot twist with a fourth bonus baby in 2015. Unbecoming all that she was to step into her happiest, most authentic version to date has been her favorite part of this unexpected season. Lou now proudly calls St Augustine home and is thriving with her fiancé, four kiddos and a bunch of critters. Coaching and empowering women to mindfully create their happiest life is her jam.